They told me I could be anything I wanted.
So I became a human cannonball.
Another amazing idea by Atari.
This is probably how the pitch sounded:
-“You’re a guy in a cannon and you have to shoot yourself in a big pool BUT you have to guess the right angle.”
-“That doesn’t sound fun at all. Are there like other stages or mini games?”
-Well no, but sometimes the cannon shoots with more force or is further away from the pool. A real challenge.”
-“Ugh, that’s bad. I’m assuming it will also cost a lot of money.”-“Nope. It’s pretty much a zero-dollar-investment. Shoddy graphics I can paint in about two minutes, no sound and the gameplay is stolen from obscure BASIC-games I found in a magazine.”
-“You had me at zero dollar. I want the game finished by tomorrow. And get Evel Knievel to pose for the cover art.”
The game is only interesting for two occasions: for the time you miss the pool and for the time you hit the pool.
What will happen?
I don’t wanna spoil anything but you’ll never touch this game anyway.
It’s either a simple ‘Ouch’ or a stick figure lifting its arms in victory.
How about some cruel death animations?
Like the guy breaks his neck or loses a limb. At least then you would have some morbid curiosity in searching for the best way to get rid of poor fella. Would even make for some fun multiplayer session.
But since none of that is in the actual games you should make better use of your time.